So you’ve finally taken the plunge and ordered Ben Wa balls, or maybe your partner surprised you with them and you’re curious but not entirely sure what to do next. Either way, if you’re wondering how to actually use these intriguing sex toys without feeling clueless, you’re in the right place.
Ben Wa balls (also called Kegel balls or pelvic floor exercise balls) have been around for centuries, and they serve multiple purposes—from sexual pleasure to pelvic health. Here’s everything you need to know about using them safely, effectively, and enjoyably.
What Exactly Are Ben Wa Balls?
Ben Wa balls are small, weighted spheres (usually sold in sets of one or two) that you insert into your vagina. They come in various materials including silicone, metal, plastic, or glass, and range in size and weight from beginner-friendly lightweight options to heavier advanced versions.
Some have a retrieval string or loop attached (similar to a tampon), while others don’t. If you’re new to using them, definitely start with ones that have a retrieval cord—it makes removal much easier and less stressful.
Getting Started: Your First Time
Before you use Ben Wa balls for the first time, here’s what you need to know:
Clean them thoroughly. Wash your Ben Wa balls with warm water and mild soap or a dedicated sex toy cleaner before and after each use. This is non-negotiable for your health and safety.
Use plenty of water-based lubricant. Even if you think you don’t need it, use lube anyway—especially your first few times. It makes insertion significantly more comfortable. Apply lube generously to both the balls and your vaginal opening.
Find a comfortable position. Most people find it easiest to insert Ben Wa balls while lying down, squatting, or standing with one leg elevated (like on the edge of the bathtub or toilet). Experiment to find what works best for you.
Insert them gently. Relax your pelvic muscles and gently push the balls into your vagina, similar to inserting a tampon. They should sit comfortably inside—about 2-3 inches in, with the retrieval string (if there is one) hanging outside.
Start small and light. If you’re a beginner, choose smaller, lighter balls. You can always work your way up to larger or heavier ones as your pelvic muscles get stronger.
If insertion feels uncomfortable or painful, stop. Add more lube, relax, and try again. If it continues to hurt, Ben Wa balls might not be right for you, or you might need to consult with a healthcare provider about pelvic floor tension.
Using Ben Wa Balls for Pelvic Floor Exercise
One of the primary benefits of Ben Wa balls is strengthening your pelvic floor muscles (often called Kegel or PC muscles). Strong pelvic floor muscles can help with:
Better bladder control and reduced incontinence
Stronger, more intense orgasms
Increased vaginal sensation during sex
Faster recovery after childbirth
Support for pelvic organs (reducing risk of prolapse)
How to do Kegel exercises with Ben Wa balls:
Once the balls are inserted, your pelvic floor muscles will naturally engage to hold them in place. You’ll feel a slight sensation as if they might slip out—that’s your muscles working. Start by wearing them for just 10-15 minutes while doing light activities like walking around your house, washing dishes, or sitting and reading.
As you get more comfortable and your muscles strengthen, you can gradually increase the time you wear them (up to 30-45 minutes max per session) and try them during more active movements. You can also actively squeeze your pelvic muscles around the balls in rhythmic contractions—hold for 3-5 seconds, then release for 3-5 seconds, and repeat 10-15 times.
Don’t overdo it. Like any muscle training, your pelvic floor needs rest between workouts. Using Ben Wa balls daily for extended periods can actually cause muscle fatigue or tension. Aim for 2-3 times per week initially.
Using Ben Wa Balls for Pleasure
Beyond pelvic health, Ben Wa balls can absolutely be used for sexual pleasure—though it’s different from the intense stimulation of a vibrator. The sensation is much more subtle, gradual, and arousing over time.
Wearing them throughout the day:
Many people enjoy wearing Ben Wa balls while going about regular activities—the weighted balls shift and move with your body, creating gentle internal stimulation that builds arousal gradually over time. You might wear them while running errands, doing housework, or going for a walk. The anticipation and subtle sensation can make you feel pleasantly aroused by the time you’re ready for more direct sexual activity.
That said, be realistic about potential mishaps. While rare, Ben Wa balls can occasionally slip out unexpectedly, especially if you’re doing vigorous activity or if your pelvic floor muscles are still developing strength. If you’re worried about that happening in public, stick to wearing them at home until you’re confident in your muscle control.
During masturbation:
Insert the Ben Wa balls and use external clitoral stimulation (with your fingers, a vibrator, or other toy). The internal pressure and fullness combined with external stimulation can create really intense orgasms. You can also practice squeezing and releasing your pelvic muscles rhythmically while stimulating your clitoris.
During partnered sex:
You can wear Ben Wa balls during foreplay or even during penetrative sex, though this depends on comfort and fit. The balls create a fuller sensation for you and add texture and tightness that your partner may enjoy as well. However, not everyone finds this comfortable, so communication with your partner is essential.
You can also use them during oral sex or manual stimulation—the internal sensation combined with external pleasure can be incredibly arousing.
How to Remove Ben Wa Balls Safely
Removal is usually straightforward, but if you’re nervous, here’s what to do:
If your Ben Wa balls have a retrieval string, gently pull on it while bearing down slightly with your pelvic muscles (like you’re trying to push them out). They should slide out easily.
If they don’t have a string, squat down and bear down with your pelvic muscles as if you’re having a bowel movement. Gravity and muscle pressure will usually push them out. You can also reach inside with clean fingers to gently hook them out.
Don’t panic if they don’t come out immediately. They cannot get lost inside your body—your cervix blocks them from going anywhere. Relax, try again in a few minutes, or wait until after you’ve had an orgasm (which naturally causes muscles to relax and can make removal easier).
If you genuinely cannot remove them after multiple attempts, contact your healthcare provider. This is rare but can happen, and they can help safely remove them.
Important Safety Tips
Always clean before and after use with warm water and mild soap or toy cleaner.
Don’t share Ben Wa balls without thoroughly sanitizing them between uses, or use a condom over them.
Don’t wear them for too long. Maximum recommended time is about 4-6 hours for passive wear, or 30-45 minutes for active exercise.
Don’t use them during pregnancy without consulting your doctor first.
Listen to your body. If you experience pain, cramping, or discomfort, remove them immediately.
Check the material. Use body-safe materials like medical-grade silicone, stainless steel, or glass. Avoid jelly rubber or porous materials that can harbor bacteria.
Keep Smiling
Ben Wa balls offer a unique combination of pleasure and pelvic health benefits when used correctly. Whether you’re interested in strengthening your pelvic floor, exploring new sensations, or adding something different to your sex life, they’re worth experimenting with.
Start slowly with lighter, smaller balls, use plenty of lube, and give yourself time to get comfortable with how they feel and how your body responds. There’s no rush—this is about your pleasure, your health, and your comfort.
And remember, everyone’s body is different. What works amazingly for one person might not work for you, and that’s completely okay. Sexual wellness is about finding what feels good for you personally, not following someone else’s script.
Try them out and see how immensely pleasurable they can be!
